5
I must have just started school when I first saw that :P
Ninety-nine percent of women kiss with their eyes closed; which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.

8
You must have some almighty porn collection if it made God Himself smite your computer.

"And lo, for the river of smut was cleansed from hard drive of ye Hunter. With a great big ecky-thump wallop and a £100 bill from Dixons, no less."
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