3
For the most part take Aldo's advice. Give her the time she wants, and be there.
I suppose your worried you'll lose her. Maybe I'm wrong
I've been with my girlfriend for a similar amount of time and I've had more trouble than you think. If I was in your position I would take the stance of:
"If she comes back and everything is cool again, great. If not, and I lose her, then she obviously doesn't love me and it could never have worked out. I can find someone better, no matter how much I miss her."
I already take that stance with my own girlfriend. I'm ready for a long future with her, but I'm also ready to lose her tomorrow.
Maybe I've helped, maybe I've made you feel worse
Either way, don't worry.
I suppose your worried you'll lose her. Maybe I'm wrong
I've been with my girlfriend for a similar amount of time and I've had more trouble than you think. If I was in your position I would take the stance of:"If she comes back and everything is cool again, great. If not, and I lose her, then she obviously doesn't love me and it could never have worked out. I can find someone better, no matter how much I miss her."
I already take that stance with my own girlfriend. I'm ready for a long future with her, but I'm also ready to lose her tomorrow.
Maybe I've helped, maybe I've made you feel worse
Either way, don't worry.Ninety-nine percent of women kiss with their eyes closed; which is why it's so difficult to identify a rapist.
4
I hate to disagree with Aldo (and Robo to a degree) but I really don't feel the advice is that good. No disrespect meant but it's the standard Oprah answer and it rarely works.
Unless your girlfriend has just been through some major trauma or has mental problems "I need some time" is pure womanese. Either she's playing mind games and testing you or more likely she's losing interest in you but doesn't want to burn all her bridges just yet. Either way you're in very deep trouble here and the odds against you pulling it back together aren't good.
The problem with the "I need time" thing is that if you act the way suggested she'll probably lose any respect she still has for you. Even if she did take you back eventually she'll treat you like a doormat cause she knows that she can play the break up card any time she wants to get her way.
What I'd advise is this. Call her up and tell her that you do love her but you think that the best thing to do is to take a break from being boyfriend and girlfriend while she sorts herself out. I'm sure you won't find it hard to be sad when you say this. She needs to know that you're not breaking up with her just so you can go out and party with the ladies. Tell her that since you're still friends she can call at any time to chat.
If she needs to call you to talk about whatever is going on let her do so. Do not call her again until she's interested in getting back together. Till then if she wants to chat she's footing the bill. Getting you to pay for long chats with her will also lose you respect. Don't take all her calls either. She has to get the idea that you're not sitting by the phone waiting for her to be the only interesting thing in your life.
While she's getting her head together you're going to be going out of the house with friends all the time. I'm not suggesting going clubbing every night and picking up girls. I am suggesting getting out so that you don't give in to a moment of weakness every time she calls you. It might be hard to get yourself out there but you need to live your life.
The basic goal of this is to make her realise that keeping you isn't a sure thing. In fact it's a little bit of a challenge. Women love a challenge. It's the main reason so many of them date complete losers and yet ignore the "nice guy" they're always complaining that they want to meet.
Anyway that's my reading of the situation. Of course I don't kow the girl so you may need to do things differently but I really doubt that just being there for her will ever get her back permanently.
Unless your girlfriend has just been through some major trauma or has mental problems "I need some time" is pure womanese. Either she's playing mind games and testing you or more likely she's losing interest in you but doesn't want to burn all her bridges just yet. Either way you're in very deep trouble here and the odds against you pulling it back together aren't good.
The problem with the "I need time" thing is that if you act the way suggested she'll probably lose any respect she still has for you. Even if she did take you back eventually she'll treat you like a doormat cause she knows that she can play the break up card any time she wants to get her way.
What I'd advise is this. Call her up and tell her that you do love her but you think that the best thing to do is to take a break from being boyfriend and girlfriend while she sorts herself out. I'm sure you won't find it hard to be sad when you say this. She needs to know that you're not breaking up with her just so you can go out and party with the ladies. Tell her that since you're still friends she can call at any time to chat.
If she needs to call you to talk about whatever is going on let her do so. Do not call her again until she's interested in getting back together. Till then if she wants to chat she's footing the bill. Getting you to pay for long chats with her will also lose you respect. Don't take all her calls either. She has to get the idea that you're not sitting by the phone waiting for her to be the only interesting thing in your life.
While she's getting her head together you're going to be going out of the house with friends all the time. I'm not suggesting going clubbing every night and picking up girls. I am suggesting getting out so that you don't give in to a moment of weakness every time she calls you. It might be hard to get yourself out there but you need to live your life.
The basic goal of this is to make her realise that keeping you isn't a sure thing. In fact it's a little bit of a challenge. Women love a challenge. It's the main reason so many of them date complete losers and yet ignore the "nice guy" they're always complaining that they want to meet.
Anyway that's my reading of the situation. Of course I don't kow the girl so you may need to do things differently but I really doubt that just being there for her will ever get her back permanently.
6
If she was just having an off day then all bets are off. 
I was assuming she needed longer than a day
I was assuming she needed longer than a day
9
Dude, you rock.karajorma wrote:All that stuff.
****ing Oprah.
TI - Coming in 2011 - Promise!
"Everyone has to wear clothes, and if you don't, you get arrested!" - Mr. T
"Everyone has to wear clothes, and if you don't, you get arrested!" - Mr. T
13
Why haven't you talked if you like her so much?Kopax wrote:Oh yes, liking the same girl for 4 and a half years now and we don't even talk... damn.
My problem with Oprah is not that she's screwing up women's expectations its that she's screwing things up for the guys who hear that stuff (often second hand) and believe it to be true.Black Wolf wrote:Dude, you rock.karajorma wrote:All that stuff.
****ing Oprah.
Life gets easier when you realise that women don't actually want what they claim they do. Watch any romantic movie and you'll form the impression that the way to get a girl is do big romantic things all the time until you win her heart. Try it in real life and you'll get yourelf arrested for stalking.
Big romantic gestures only work after she's into you.
