Sectorgame

well, kinda spammy, the only slight rant i've got is the fact that i have no life, no real friends, and no chance to get any of that.

and don't start about the relationships, there is one girl i know, and well, i like her, but i really, really, don't want to damage our friendship by getting into a 2 week relation.

edit: actally, imihgt start about the fact that ahlf the school is harrassing me, but, i try to forget that, that way it won't annoy me so much.

That IS something to rant about, I used to be kinda like you - only not as bad. And now I'm improving..

" and no chance to get any of that."

Why is that?

"the fact that ahlf the school is harrassing me

Done something terribly wrong?

I want to help you, you sound so much like the old me..

Its also good to talk about kasperl. And trust me, I've been there too. Back when F2S started up I was exactly like you describe, if not worse. Things arent exactly fanastic now, either, but its a mixed bag

ok, first things first,

the reason half the school is harrassing me is becasue i got a briefcase instead of a backpack, since i was tired of having my books ruined.

now everybody who sees me yells "a bomb, a bomb!", or "tick tack, tick tack, BOOOOOOOM!". and things like that. now, i thought that would be over after a week or so, but it's been going on for over 6 months now. now, most poeple stopped it, but a few keep going. it's not really serious, i know, but it's just annoying, i just like to be left alone once in a while.

and i'm not getting a backpack, just becasue they now know i'm an easy target, and they'll just find something else.

also, i can't just use the "an0n/stryke 9" method, since i'm no strong guy. (for those of you not on HLP,i mean just beating them up)

and robo, i ment a life.

and further, about making firends/getting a life, i'm kinda paranoid, since i got bullyed back in primary school (4to12 years, for those not fammiliar with the dutch system), so everyone who even says "hi" i regard as a threat. even when someone makes a compliment, i regard it as an insult to come.

also, i have a bad temper, i learned to controll itover the years, also by eatingno more sugar and sweateners, but i still have problems with it. you can imagine that that isn't making me any more popuplar too.

I was bullied in school too, and up to about 8 months ago...

I also have something odd with sugar. I believe I have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), which basically means depending on how much sugar I eat, my mind goes "hyperactive"... Which also means I put more time to thoughts than words, so this means I'm a very quiet person. I can also change moods in seconds, I can be gloomy one second, and happy the next.

Ignore the briefcase thing, that's just silly. Some idiots used to tease me about having a school bag that wasn't a brand name. I mean... does it really matter?

On the subject of the temper, only patience can help, and that means understanding people aren't quick at everything and aren't perfect. I guess your probably a very smart guy, with plenty of sense to make your own desicions. One way to help this and to help the friend problem, which I tried (and it worked) is to do some kind of hobby outside of school that someone, anyone, might join in with you. It could be anything, doesn't even have to be sporty... model plane building, drawing, walking, flying kites even... you name it!

Hunter also had/has your problems, just like me..

i do try to ignore it, i'vegot thatmuch experince, but that just doesn't always help from letting me feel excluded.

the temper part, well, i find a way to control most of the time, basicly by breathing in a controlled rithm, and consontraing on some poitn, a pixel in my book, a crack in the wall, that kinda stuff. on girl found a way to get me mad though, and i ended up standing ready to bludgoen her with a book when the teacher jump between us. something i thank her for, since she is a elderly woman, anyway, i ran out of class and burst into tears around the corner. ok, i come back after a minute or five, forst thing the girl does is starting all voer again, i ended up leaving the clas for the rest of the hour, since i was afraid i might hurt someone badly. i wasn't really afriad for the girl in question, but i always end up hurting (mentally or physicly), the poeple that try to help me.

it's wierd, the last time i got really mad, was at least 2 years a go, but then a teacher had to grab me and drag me to a office...... but still, the thing i fear most, is letting my anger take over controll again.

How long have you got left till you leave school?

3 years, if i don't have to repeat a year, and then i've got university, hopefully.

Ignore the shites who tease you about the briefcase, I used to be teased about having a hiking-type bag. That was 4 years ago, and I still have the bag, so they stopped it off.

The fact that I affected to throw a chair at the "hardest" guy in the year also helped my reputation. I also have quite a temper, and I use to my advantage.

I keep getting ragged about my coat, the german parka, but I just ignore the cunts.

well, one thing i won't do is resort to violence, basicly because it won'thelp me, i'm not strong enough. also because i won't give into my anger, i'll prevent that at all costs.

Your loss.

I'm not really strong or anything, which is where anger comes in useful. I never have really displayed any great violence or such, but people tend to have a fear of me. Probably because they think I am more than a bit odd. ( I have taken to wearing a trilby-shaped bush hat, and once came to school dressed as a tramp, adn played the harmonica all day)

Petrarch of the VBB wrote:( I have taken to wearing a trilby-shaped bush hat, and once came to school dressed as a tramp, adn played the harmonica all day)

Ha ha ha - you're a legend dude. Why did I never think of that!

Well today I'm wearing a scout necker.

It's the only way. Keep doing random strange things, and you'll build up a rep as an eccentric, and so you can do anything you want and not get any $#1t off anyone.

hehehehe