Sectorgame

Posted: **Tue Mar 17, 2009 3:13 pm**

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2009/03/17 ... emination/

Massachusetts woman has appeared in court on a domestic assault and battery rap after allegedly attempting to impregnate her wife with a plastic syringe containing her brother's sperm.

Stephanie K Lighten, 26, of Pittsfield, was reportedly “all liquored up” when she made unwelcome advances towards her other half, 33-year-old Jennifer Lighten. Jennifer explained to officers that Stephanie "had been talking about trying to impregnate her for some time", and that she'd accordingly armed herself with a "turkey baster and her brother’s semen in a sealed container".

The turkey baster was actually a "large syringe with a catheter tip", Lez Get Real clarifies, but whatever the implement in question, Jennifer told her partner "she didn’t want to get pregnant".

Things at this point allegedly took a turn for the worse, as Stephanie "threw Jennifer on the couch, grabbed at her clothes and threatened to impregnate her".

Lez Get Real continues: "Jennifer broke free, ran into the bathroom and locked the door. When Stephanie broke the bathroom door down, she hurt her wrist in the process, and Jennifer escaped when Stephanie went to get an ice pack from the freezer.

"Jennifer attempted to get away in the couple’s SUV and as she tried to pull away, Stephanie jumped on the side of car and made Jennifer stop."

Cue cops and a cuffing for the "intoxicated" Stephanie. Police confiscated the syringe "plus a container of semen and some aluminum foil, which was originally was used to hold the semen". Officers apparently confirmed the sperm was donated by Stephanie's bruv, Nicholas Lighten.

Jennifer Lighten decided not to press a charge of assault with intent to rape, because "she did not believe Stephanie was going to sexually assault her with the syringe".

Stephanie denied the remaining domestic assault and battery charge in Central Berkshire District Court. Judge Rita S Koenigs advised her to “refrain from abuse”, before releasing her on personal recognisance.

Stephanie Lighten is scheduled to appear in in court on 29 April for a pre-trial hearing, while her MySpace page is now "set to private".

Posted: **Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:13 pm**

...why did I know from the title that this was going to involve semen?

Posted: **Tue Mar 17, 2009 8:37 pm**

that's just weird....

Posted: **Tue Mar 17, 2009 10:17 pm**

Oh dear, that's a total violation!

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:47 am**

Top Gun wrote:...why did I know from the title that this was going to involve semen?

I'm not sure, but if you figure that out, let me know. That might explain why I did.

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 1:34 am**

ngtm1r wrote:
Top Gun wrote:...why did I know from the title that this was going to involve semen?
I'm not sure, but if you figure that out, let me know. That might explain why I did.

Same...

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 12:48 pm**

maybe it was because of who posted it.....

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 2:03 pm**

CamInHead wrote:maybe it was because of who posted it.....

Are you implying i'm a spunky character?

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 6:38 pm**

Matthew wrote:
ngtm1r wrote:
Top Gun wrote:...why did I know from the title that this was going to involve semen?
I'm not sure, but if you figure that out, let me know. That might explain why I did.
Same...

Don't know if it applies to you guys, but I think I've figured it out for myself, at any rate. There was an episode of the [adult swim] stop-motion series "Moral Orel" that featured something like this as a plot point.

...or else it's just because aldo posted it.

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 8:52 pm**

Or maybe because of the topic posted directly below it?

Posted: **Wed Mar 18, 2009 10:54 pm**

aldo wrote:
CamInHead wrote:maybe it was because of who posted it.....
Are you implying i'm a spunky character?

With that avatar? I don't think anything needs implying.

Sectorgame

Turkey baster

Turkey baster