Sectorgame

Post it here.

You may have noticed that I'm not here often, and that's because I just recently was diagnosed with major clinical depression, and am suffering from almost all of the symptoms of APD (Basicly, psychopathic), and schizophrenia. So, I'm seriously fucked up, suffice to say.

Naturally, I'm pretty pissed at the world right now, and have nearly killed, like, two of my friends just 'cause they got in my way.

So, scream and rant about anything hostile and such you would like to. I would, but I'm too tired to right now, and I really can't talk about a few of them just 'cause I can't. Long story which you guys can't hear.

Have fun.

If things don't pick up soon, I'll probably heading down a similar path depression wise.
Coupled with back pain and a decreasing state of fitness I think I'll be in trouble physical health wise as well as mental. But I think one is a result of the other.

Meh. My two cents.

I'm too tired to freak out and start attacking people. I'm just too f#####g tired for anything.

Actually, it's a good thing, sometimes. The apathy prevents a lot of damage.

I don't see myself halming others. I have some wierd kind of superiority complex, where I try and take the moral high ground compared to everyone else.

Stupid really, especially when my own life is such a wreck...

Hah. You sound like me.

Grug wrote:I don't see myself halming others. I have some wierd kind of superiority complex, where I try and take the moral high ground compared to everyone else.

Stupid really, especially when my own life is such a wreck...

Why take the moral high ground? It's a waste of time. If you really want to be effective in today's world, you've got to take the physical high ground and pour boiling oil over the people on lower elevations. That's the fututre I tells ya!

Black Wolf wrote: That's the fututre I tells ya!

What the hell is fututre?

Schizophrenia? How do you know, are you sure? Is this a self-diagnosis or a professional opinion?

I often get seriously low for various reasons, I usually just go out. In the past I've just left college (walked straight out of class) and walked home (which is a VERY long walk) when feeling like I can't concentrate. Ofcourse, that's a bit different. I had bouts depression and such when I was 14-15, and was on anti-depressants. I spent an entire year hiding away, more or less. Some people react differently though, some get hostile, others just clam up.

I understand your situation all too well, being pretty much a psychological wreck myself.

My life has put me into a state of forced near-schizophrenia and self denial, which has severely contributed to depression, leading to a state where I've been chronically depressed for the most time of my life. The experiences I had (primarily because of that) resulted in paranoia. I'm past attempted suicide. I never had a childhood, I never had a life because of the still ongoing issues.

However, I'm the kind of person who swallows such issues, pushing the emotions into forgotten depths of my memory, in the end collapsing all the worse because of the unbearable strain. I've never been aggressive - but rather drifting off into misreable apathy.

My sympathies.

-edit: And I can only confirm Grug when I say physical problems are often a direct result. In my case, it tends to result in (diagnosed) CFS.

wait... who got the namechange?

I think it was the subspace bug.

Just got out of clinical depression myself, the tablets didn't help much, the key for me wasn't chemical, it was learning that just because someone outranks you doesn't mean you can't call them a liberty-taking manipulative b#stard who reads your job description as though it magically re-writes itself to mean I had to do everything they were supposed to be doing as well as my own job.

Felt a lot better once I'd said it

I guess I'm fortunate. I don't get depressed often. I do get lonely, but that's not depression.

When I do get depressed, I'm also fortunate. The few friends I have are good enough to help distract me when I get depressed. Between them, modelling, drawing, and looking at Hondas (:p) I've not much time to be deppressed.

never really been depressed, always had a team to keep me a)too busy b) too drunk to be depressed

as far as unvented anger only thing i really have are my hates of referees, Cobra and Blitzerfuck

@ Hunter: I said I have the symptoms, not the disease. I'm trying to figure WHAT exactly is wrong with me, but the only thing that's a definate 'yes' is depression. I do know that prolonged, extreme depression can lead to psychosis, though But somehow I doubt I have it that bad.

lol, I was put into a state of forced-depression, and around that time, also lost my ability to cope with stress (Totally), and that was four years ago, so yeah... That's bad. Then I lived like that for a while (I also bottle up what I'm feeling. I went those four years without a word to anyone), before I finally got to a point where I could half-relax. When I finally learned how to unwind, I was sent BACK into the thing causing me so much trouble, and started acting oddly, psychologically, like 'visual anomalies' (Not hallucenations - like, sparkles, and seeing strange shadows, and odd brightnesses... I see everything as if I've just hit my head hard, like I'm slightly dazed), audal hallucenations occasionally, lack of emotion/empathy/sympathy, and inability to explain myself.

What's more, I have no grounds to complain on, relatively speaking... Besides the fact that I know that myself, I've been told that more than once.

Oh, and I also was actually ejected from my school because they ACTUALLY branded me "An IMMEDIATE threat to himself or others". I had to get immediate psychiatric examination before they'd even let me in. They honestly thought that I would just randomly pull somebody in and strangle them. Oh, man, I actually laughed... it was FUNNY! My councellor looked like she was gonna be sick...

Ah, yes, sadism and a very, VERY light masochistic streak are appearing in me as well ^_______________^

Argh. I am now going to be branded as an attention-whore. Good thing I didn't go into details >_>

Ahhhh... Rantage. I love it...