6
It's due to the fact that, after they successfully invented and implemented the English language, the British then proceeded to utterly slaughter it with innumerable instances of slang incomprehensible to the rest of the modern world. At least two wars during the past century are believed to have started due to this fact.

(And yes, after reading the damn thing out loud ten times, I finally deciphered it. :P)
A.K.A. Mongoose, for you HLP denizens

8
*is clueless* Must be that whole not using metric thing...
"If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?"
-Steven Wright
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