Storywriting experiment, INFA Style

#1
Yet another Freespace-related experiment!

I sat up late last night thinking about what I could possibly do project or experiement-wise for FS and recalled the story told from Inferno: Alliance. Wasn't thinking too much of it at the time, until the thought of how minimally detailed the story is struck my mind. I remember myself suddenly thinking. "Hey, what if I were the story writer or lead designer of Inferno Alliance? How would I write the opening level? What would be going on at the time?"

So, this is an experimental write-up for a Command briefing a player would read if I wrote the first mission entirely my way. I hope you like it:

"* Martian Destroyer Revelation
* Sol System
* 20/08/2348

[[Welcome to the Martian Republic]]

Congratulations, pilot. You have been selected to serve within the 2nd Battlegroup of the Martian Republic Navy. You passed the Republic's rigorous medical and psychological examinations, and your academic records from installation Cyrene speak highly of you. As I, Commodore Torrez, am the commanding Officer of the Revelation, I bid you a warm welcome.

You will be leading Iota wing of the 59th Black Wolves squadron. As a pilot serving onboard the Revelation, you will be joining an elite crew of 8,000, the finest officers and enlisted personnel that serve the Republic today. Over the upcoming weeks, it is my belief that we will get to know each rather comfortably, and I am confident you will find this tour of duty both challenging and rewarding.

Serve the Revelation well, and you will be distinguished.

[[Chaos in Sol]]

The Sol system, as we know it, is reaching its boiling point. The peaceful silence that has existed for over a decade is now broken by chaotic activity plaguing the outer parts of the system. This is due to alarmingly high tension mounting between the superpowers that rule there. One by one, they slowly begin to move away from peaceful co-existence, and prepare for armed conflict. From what eye-witnesses have seen, it is as if all sides are waiting for the fuse of hostility to be ignited.

The Unification War has already taught humanity that civil conflict will have devastating consequences for it and Sol. More recently than that, the events which lead to the collapse of the Delta Serpentis subspace node and the Galactic-Terran Alliance, have taken their toll. Sol does not need another cold war, although this may be inevitable.

[[State of the Earth-Martian Treaty]]

The Martian Republic's treaty with the Earth Directorate has come under threat, due to recent changes and differences within the political parties of both powers. As a result, the relationship between us and them has been plagued by mutual distrust, misunderstanding, and a failure to comply with the treaty's full co-operational mandate. Neither side wishes to resort to aggression, but things could go heavily downhill if conditions don't start improving anytime soon.

We do not want to get dragged into a system-wide conflict, which is why preserving the peace treaty is top priority. Both the Earth Directorate and Martian Republic must stand together in these troubled times. As a member of the Republic, you have a responsibility to behave in a manner worthy of your station and in personal interaction with Earth colleagues. Should tensions escalate out of control, Martian Command will inform you on the appropriate method for containing the situation.

[[Pirate Activity]]

Command has ordered the Revelation and her battlegroup to patrol and maintain order within the primary regions of Martian territory. There has been a large influx in piracy and rebellious activity as of late. In the past, these nuisances have never caused reason for major concern. That is about to change, for in these dark times, the republic cannot afford to see regional security severely compromised. There are also several key operations being conducted with our Earth allies which could be jeapordized.

We will therefore be conducting a series of missions designed to stamp out or silence any pirate and rebel factions roaming throughout Martian space. With luck, our battlegroup should be able to achieve this goal swiftly and decisively. Should orders be changed or information of critical importance is received, you will be informed on a need-to-know basis. In the meantime, you are expected to play by the rulebook, maintain your vigilance and follow orders.

[[Combat Technologies]]

At this point of time, you are being authorized to fly the Ulysess Space Superiority fighter and the Valkyrie interceptor. You are also being authorised to make use of the following weapon systems -- The Avenger Cannon, the Mandrake Subsystem Disruptor, the MX-50 Heat-Seeker Missile and the Fury dumbfire missile. These technologies are standard issue for all Republic pilots, and will be very instrumental in your upcoming assignments.

From time to time, the battlegroup may recieve more advanced combat technologies. These will become available for deployment not only as our tour of duty progresses, but as you gain experience serving the Republic. You will notified on a regular basis when you have attained the necessary experience or privileges. Detailed information on all spacecraft and weaponry can be reviewed from the technical database.

That is all. Report for your squadron briefing at 0900 hours. Dismissed."

Just a little pointer: You might notice some Silent Threat: Reborn references in there. I took inspiration for the write-up heavily from there.
Last edited by Starwolf1991 on Thu Jul 15, 2010 5:14 pm, edited 2 times in total.

#3
Mobius thrilled? Uhh...... :oops:

(Looks around nervously)

May I say that this was truly intended as an experiment, and is not for an actual project. At the time, it gave me something to do in order to pass the time. But regardless, looking back on it, I'm actually proud with how it turned out. It's more detailed than any command briefing I've previously written, and it is something I actually want to read. To me, that is a big self-compliment/

Edit: First-post updated. Command briefing has several updates, and is directed at single pilot now.

#4
Nicely done! :) Doesn't really fit in INFASA but it was definitely worth the time I spent reading it.
Non ti curar di loro, ma guarda e passa!

President and Founder of the Official Karajorma Fan Club
(the memberlist has been lost for unknown reasons)

#6
Why, TA very much for that comment, Mobius! :razz:

Well, I can see what you mean by how it doesn't fit in with the INFASA continuity. There are a lot of differences between what was established by you and the Inferno team early in INFA, and what I've established in my own writing here. Ones I found are:

-Command Ship; I'm implying a MK .2 Orion in the writeup, while in INFA, you're on the Leander, that Zagreus destroyer.
-My year of my writeup is 2348. INFA was set two years later.
-My writing's Earth faction is the Earth Directorate; INFA's is the Earth Alliance, isn't it?
-In my writing, Mars only has a peace treaty with the Earth Directorate; in INFA, Mars was at peace with everyone prior to the EA's attack.

Anyone else spot some differences? I can't find any. :)

#7
As far as I remember the name of Earth's faction was not specified in INFA. In INFASA, it's named "Earther Federation of States".

Differences aren't that important, all we need to know is that your writing is nice. :)
Non ti curar di loro, ma guarda e passa!

President and Founder of the Official Karajorma Fan Club
(the memberlist has been lost for unknown reasons)

#8
It's good. You can improve it even further by cutting down on excess verbiage; try not to say the same thing twice:
(Command has ordered the Revelation and her battlegroup to patrol and maintain order within the primary regions of Martian territory. There has been a large influx in piracy and rebellious activity as of late.)
and wherever you can, jettison excess adjectives and adverbs; they'll only slow your prose down.
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 15 guests

cron